This Week’s Theatrical Releases.

1. Resident Evil: Extinction (2,828 Theaters, Rated R): I am torn about the series. I love zombie movies. But I hate video game adaptations. And this franchise is both.

Some people must like it. This is the second sequel in the line. I, unfortunately, have not seen any of them. But apparently they have moved on from a Zombie Apocalypse to total Extinction in the span of 3 years. Funny, I wouldn’t think that they would take that long.

I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Milla Jovovich after her starring in The Fifth Element, what I consider to be one of the most underrated sci-fi films of all time.

And it also stars Ali Later of Heroes fame. Funny that her role in the TV show was the first that popped to mind when I saw her in the trailer. It’s not like she hasn’t appeared in a movie before. She was in Varsity Blues and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

The plot? Jovovich’s character tries to lead a group of survivors through a very sandy Las Vegas on their way to Alaska. Oh, and to keep them from, well, extinction.

2. Good Luck Chuck (2,612 Theaters, Rated R): I was going to talk about the plot of this movie, which is Chuck (Dane Cook) must break his curse–that woman find their true love immediately after sleeping with him–in order to keep the woman he loves (Jessica Alba). Or about the short yet interesting career path Cook has taken in movies. Or the comparisons I find between this movie and Splash.

But instead I want to talk about this poster. For those of you born after 1980, it mimics the iconic last photograph of John Lennon and Yoko Ono taken by Annie Leibovitz.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about the absolutely horrible photoshopping on the poster. Click the image to get a larger view of it. Look at their faces. I have a cheesy, budget version of photoshop I got when I bought my scanner. I could have done a better job with that poster.

I mean, really. At least make an effort to get the lighting to match! Spend more than just 10 minutes on it! This thing is going into theaters! People with see it! Come on!

3. Sydney White (2,102 Theaters, Rated PG-13): Amanda Bynes is carving out a little, unique cottage industry for herself. In addition to be one of the few tweener stars who have not been arrest for DUI or have had nude pictures on the internet, she has become the queen of the modern update of a classical piece of literature.

She starred in last year’s She’s the Man, which was revamped version of William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. This week, she has this movie, which is a 2007 version of the Snow White fairy tale.

Instead of Snow, her name is Sydney. Instead of woods, we have college. Instead of dwarves, we have dorks. Instead of an evil queen, we have evil sorority sisters. But there is a handsome prince and a romance which is another Bynes trademark.

I, for one, would be interested in seeing how the makers of the movie deal with the poisoned apple and Snow/Sydney’s long nap. Well, it being set in college, I can think of a couple of ways it could go, but none would work in a teen friendly movie.

On to the predictions. This is how I thought last week’s line up would look like:

  1. The Brave One
  2. 3:10 to Yuma
  3. Halloween
  4. Superbad
  5. Mr. Woodcock

And this is how it ended up:

  1. The Brave One
  2. 3:10 to Yuma
  3. Mr. Woodcock
  4. Superbad
  5. Dragon Wars

Both Mr. Woodcock and Dragon Wars did better than I thought they would. But I still got 3 out of 5 right. This makes me 19 for 30 over 6 weeks, and makes my “batting average” 63%.

Here is what I think this week will look like.

  1. Resident Evil: Extinction
  2. Good Luck Chuck
  3. The Brave One
  4. 3:10 to Yuma
  5. Sydney White

What do you think?

Bill

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About William Gatevackes 1931 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken Frontier.com, PopMatters.com and in Comics Foundry magazine.

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