This Week’s Theatrical Releases

1. Cloverfield (3,411 Theaters, 90 Minutes, Rated PG-13): I really don’t have to say anything about this movie. Rich already said all there is to say about it in his review here. But since I have to write about three paragraphs to make it past the poster to the left. So, I will have to say something.

I am glad, from what Rich said, that there is a pay off to the trailer. I really didn’t want to see the monster. I really don’t want it fully explained. I just want to get lost in the moment.

Because if we are to believe the story–a group of friends spanning the length of Manhattan to rescue another friend–you might not see the monster. It would be less likely for it to be explained. It would fall into horror movie conventions, sure, but in this context it wouldn’t make for a believable story.

The question now is whether the loads of advanced hype will translate into ticket sales. There has been buzz that a Snakes on the Plane-type backlash in store. But the difference is, that most of the buzz for Snakes was a more mocking buzz. There is more genuine curiosity about this one. We shall see.

2. 27 Dresses (3,057 Theaters, 107 Minutes, PG-13): This is Katherine Heigl’s attempt to parlay her Knocked Up success into a long and varied movie career. I say good luck.

This is a chick flick. Not all chick flicks are bad. I consider When Harry Met Sally a chick flick and a great movie. But this film seems to be, well, not very good.

First off, being a bridesmaid 27 times? I have not attended 27 weddings as a guest, let alone as a groomsman and I am way older that Heigl. So, right off the bat, my suspension of disbelief is strained.

And the story strains it even further. Heigl plays a character who is in love with her boss (Ed Burns). Unfortunately, her sister meets Burns, falls in love with him, and they will soon be married, adding another bridesmaid dress to Heigl’s character’s collection.

Okay, I don’t have any siblings, but would the fact that Heigl was pining for her boss come up in conversations with her sister? Maybe this will be a plot point, but if it was discussed between them, wouldn’t the sister be, well, evil?

We know what will happen. Burns’ character will do something to make Heigl fall out of love with him, she will fall for James Marsden’s character, and they will live happily ever after. And Heigl’s movie career might be over even before it began.

3. Mad Money (2,470 Theaters, 104 Minutes, Rated PG-13): 27 Dresses seems like Shakespeare next to this one, however.

This appears to be the classic caper movie, dumbed down, and pumped with fake laughs. At least, that’s the impression I got from watching the trailer.

It is about three women who work somewhere where they have the responsibility to destroy out of circulation money. Since the money is going to be destroyed anyway, they decide to steal it for themselves because surely the US Treasury won’t have any way to track that down those old bills still being used.

Maybe I was raised wrong, but I am not feeling all that happy about having to root for a bunch of thieves. They want this to be a feel good, underdog kind of movie, but, in reality, they are stealing. I wonder if they figured out a way for the girls to avoid prison time when the movie ends.

Now the predictions. This is what I picked for last week:

  1. Juno
  2. First Sunday
  3. National Treasure: Book of Secrets
  4. The Bucket List
  5. I Am Legend

And this was how the top 5 actually looked.

  1. The Bucket List
  2. First Sunday
  3. Juno
  4. National Treasure: Book of Secrets
  5. Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Wow. People really wanted to see a comedy about two guys dying of cancer. Who knew?

I was 1 for 5 last week, making me 44 for 110 after 22 weeks, and an average of 40%. This is my prediction for this week.

  1. Cloverfield
  2. The Bucket List
  3. 27 Dresses
  4. Juno
  5. First Sunday

I think the hype will be good enough to launch Cloverfield to the top spot, and I think that 27 Dresses can only muster a 3rd Place finish. What do you think?

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About William Gatevackes 1936 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken Frontier.com, PopMatters.com and in Comics Foundry magazine.

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