Okay, these Doctor Strange casting rumors have got to stop.
The latest casting rumor is from a site called The Infamous who states that Jon Hamm has been cast, no, not in talks or negotiations, but cast as Doctor Stephen Strange in the forthcoming Marvel film.
Forget about the fact that the last casting rumor was debunked by saying that they were completely overhauling the script. Or that the earliest the film will arrive will be in two and a half years. No, according to this guy’s sources, Hamm already has a contract for a film that probably won’t even arrive for more than three years.
Yeah, I’m not buying it.
Listen, running a news website depends on click, and Dr. Strange casting rumors are high click currency. But there’s got to—
Excuse me, my phone is ringing. Wait a sec…
Oh my god, you’re not going to believe this, but I just got off the phone with a woman who used to work with Kevin Feige’s mom, and she says Benedict Cumberbatch has just signed to play Dr. Strange! He’s definitely one of the hottest “geek cred” actors in the biz today, and a name everyone wants on their team.
But what about the rumors he was going to sign up for the new Star Wars films? Well, my source says: he still is!! Then they said something that just about curled my hair. I can’t bear to repeat it, but it rhymes with “smoss smover.” Can you say “Dr. Strange, Jedi Knight?” I JUST DID!
Hold on. My computer just told me I have mail. Which is strange because I don’t have an AOL e-mail account….
Oh my stars and garters! I just got an e-mail from a pizza delivery guy who dropped off a Meat Lovers Special to Avi Arad. The guy got two tips: a crisp $100 bill and a the fact that Hugh Laurie is in talks to play Stephen Strange! He’s moving from Dr. House to Dr. Strange!
What’s more, this casting was a package deal. Laurie would only do the film of he could bring a friend along. Yes, wait for it, Strange’s manservant Wong will be played by…..Stephen Fry! It seems that from Ant-Man on, the Marvel films will be of a more comedic bent. Does this mean we can expect Rowan Atkinson for Baron Mordo? Oh, I certainly hope so!
Ach! Facebook just beeped at me. Let me see what’s up.
Great googily moogily! A guy who just got arrested for going through Joss Whedon’s garbage just sent me a Facebook message. He says he found top secret documents that the guy Marvel has made an official, no-holds barred offer to is none other than…..Tom Cruise! I feel the need…the need for supernatural screeds!
Apparently,Cruise has been wanting to do a superhero film for the longest time. Remember, he was involved with Iron Man during its early days. And it looks like the stars have aligned to bring Cruise on the project.
The rest of the message was hard to read–the guy obviously had autocorrect problems–but it appears Cruise is requesting some changes to the source material. Based on some pamphlets my source found, Dr. Strange will no longer be the Master of Mystic Arts but a Grand Level in the Study of Science (that’s what -ology means, right? Study of? The message said Science-ology). Also, Strange will not be facing off against Dormammu, but, instead, Dormamm-Xemu.
Oh boy!My phone just buzzed that certain buzz it does when I get a text. Let me check that and I’ll be right back.
Jumping Jehoshaphat! I have just got a scoop that is so big and so game changing that I would find it hard to believe if it didn’t come from such a trusted source (a guy who bagged Robert Downey Jr’s groceries that one time at Whole Foods).
Ladies and gentlemen, the search for Strange has not just turned serious, it has turned Oscar-winning serious. The latest name at the top of Marvel’s list to play the good doctor is none other than Oscar winning actress Meryl Streep!
While this is certainly going to cause controversy amongst fans of the comics, I have been told that Strange being played by a woman will be explained by in the film by having the character lose a “Gender Change Spell Challenge” to another sorcerer in her early days the Ancient One’s apprentice. This, my source says, is reliant purely upon the availiability of Rutger Hauer to play the male version of Dr. Strange.
My source tells me that all is left to do is to work on a perks package and determining which accent Streep is allow to use for the character and it’s a done deal.
CRASH! Oh, my! Someone just threw a rock with a note tied around it through my window! That’s scary because I live on the second floor of an apartment building with no windows open to the street. That couldn’t have been easy. Well, if they went through all that fuss, it must be something important. I’ll see.
Hokey smokes! I just got another rumor! It was from someone who wants to remain anonymous, but says he once got an autograph off of Stan Lee! The note reads “Go To Amazon.” Somehow, I know exactly what this means. Sometimes film companies list their films on Amazon even before the film comes out in theaters. You can get good spoilers that way!
And what good spoilers it is! It doesn’t get any more official than this!I am proud to announce, for the first time anywhere, that the actor playing Doctor Strange will be…Peter Hooton! I mean, it says it right there in the Amazon listing! Peter Hooton is Stephen Strange! There’s no way that can be wrong, can it!
I have to admit, this guy is a relative unknown to me. A quick perusal of the Google says that the actor had a role in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds ( I think. The film was spelled Inglorious Bastards in the page results I saw, but that has to be a misprint, right?) And, as you can see to the picture to the left, the producers have already made it to the costume testing part of the production. Apparently, judging by Hooton’s hairstyle and clothing, the film will be a period piece, set in the 1970s.
Now, I didn’t bother reaching out to Marvel or these actor’s representatives for confirmation, because I expected nothing but denials all around. Just remember when any–or all–of these actors are your next Doctor Strange, that you heard it here first!