1. The Pirates! Band Of Misfits (Sony/Columbia, 3,358 Theaters, 88 Minutes, Rated PG): Kind of a busy week for the movies. I guess the studios are dumping all their leftovers before the summer movies season begins next week, a month and a half before the official start of summer.

Maybe “leftovers” is a bit too cruel. This film is by Aardman Animation, the folks who brought us Chicken Run and Wallace and Gromit, so they have a pretty good track record.

The film follows a band of pirates who are trying to win a “Pirate of the Year” contest who somehow get involved with Charles Darwin and run afoul of Queen Victoria. Wackiness ensues, voiced by an all-star, international cast.

2. The Five-Year Engagement (Universal, 2,936 Theaters, 124 Minutes, Rated R): Jason Segel has developed a career on film as a sad sack who always has a difficulty in the relationship department (usually in films he has a hand in writing). Emily Blunt has failed to fully capitalize on the big splash she made in The Devil Wears Prada. Now, they are together in this film, one which–surprise–Segel co-wrote and–just as surprising–produced by Judd Apatow (he’s the said “producer of Bridesmaids” on the poster to the left).

They play a couple whose engagement stretches to a five-year span through some incredible and extreme circumstances.

I’m a big fan of the Apatow school of comedy, and liked both The Muppets and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but this one just seems kind of eh for me. I’ve seen Segel playing someone who has fate screw up his happy romantic ending before. Do I really need to see it again?

3. Safe (Lionsgate, 2,266 Theaters, 94 Minutes, Rated R): The initial premise of this film reminds me of one my favorite “acquired taste” films, Shoot ‘Em Up. Both films feature a man who stumbles a group of thugs meaning to do harm to an innocent child. The man, skilled in the art of combat, defends the child from its attackers and acts as its protector until he can figure out what the bad guys want with the kid.

From there, the paths diverge. Shoot ‘Em Up was a live-action cartoon that pushed its violence to an absurd level. This film seems to be more of a conventional thriller.

Jason Statham’s films remind me of the kinds Chuck Norris and a early Steven Segal used to make. The films might not be Oscar worthy, but if you’re in the mood for a tough guy hitting bad guy in the face with his foot, you’re bound to be entertained.

4. The Raven (Relativity, 2,203 Theaters, 111 Minutes, Rated R): Just noticed that three of the four films out this week are Rated R. That hardly ever happens anymore.

As dismissive as I was at the start of this column about the week’s new releases, I’d probably have a hard time picking which one I would like to see first. I can see value in all of them (yes, even The Five-Year Engagement). But if I had to choose, I’d choose this one, if only for the premise alone.

I’m a big fan of Poe. That man has the market cornered on macabre wit. To build a period piece about a serial killer using Poe’s writings to kill his victims and Poe having to be called in to try and catch him is brilliant. While I do think that John Cusack looks a bit too healthy to play

1. Marmaduke (Fox, 3,213 Theaters, 87 Minutes, Rated PG): Okay, I am not what you call a fan of the  Marmaduke comic strip. The only enjoyment I get from it is reading Josh over at Comics Curmudgeon compare the dog to a flesh-eating, demon beast.

But I have read the strip and I can say in no uncertain terms that Marmaduke does not talk. DOES NOT TALK!!!

I know that with the success of Garfield and Alvin and the Chipmunks, the market for talking cartoon animals is through the roof. But why go and adapt a comic strip, no matter how lame it is, to the big screen if you are going to change the basic elements of it to make it fit. This film didn’t need to be based on Marmaduke. It could have been a truly original concept about a really big talking dog. Because whatever good will and audience the film will get will be shot once Owen Wilson’s voice comes out of the dog’s mouth.

Besides that, it looks completely awful.

2. Killers (Lionsgate, 2,859 Theaters, 100 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Katherine Heigl seems to be channeling her inner Goldie Hawn for this flick, being part ditz/part savvy. This is not a bad thing and makes me more responsive to this film that any of her previous efforts.

Another selling point is Ashton Kutcher, who has dial back the pompous assness he usually bring with him to any film he does.

The plot involves a woman who is swept off her feet by the man of her dreams, only to find out that he is a spy and has a hit out on him. Instead of going on their honeymoon, they go on the run.

I think this has the potential to be a slice above the normal romantic/action comedy. But , then again, with the track record of the people involved, that isn’t a given.

3. Get Him To The Greek (Universal, 2,696 Theaters, 109 Minutes, Rated R): This film is the ipso facto sequel to 2008′s Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Why ipso facto? Because this film has made a few major changes.

Russell Brand’s Aldous Snow was in both movies, but in the former, he was a spacey, self-centered, narcassistic twit, and in this one, he is a drug-addled, flighty, childlike twit. There might not seem to be that much difference between the two, but it is telling when you see it in action.

At least Brand is playing the same character. In the first movie, Hill played a creepy, obsessive fan by the name of Matthew the Waiter. In this film, he is still a fan of Snow’s, but is a record executive by the name of Aaron Green.

I don’t know why they felt the need to change the characters around so much. There was potential for a caper film with the characters from the first movie staying just the way they are. Well, anyway.

Look for a possible cameo by FBOL head honco Rich Drees during one of the concert scenes. If you see someone who looks like an emaciated Bruce Campbell, that is probably him.

4. Splice (Warner Brothers, 2,450 Theaters, 104 Minutes, Rated R): The “Scientists thumbing their nose s at science only to have sciene thumb it back at them hard” scenario has been a horror convention for as long as there has been horror. So powerful is the plot that is still alive today.

Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley play scientist forbidden from practicing their brand of science–cloning people. The pair decide to scoff at the law and combine human and animal DNA to create a new lifeform. Said lifeform grows up into a mythological-like creature who has major issues with its parents. Chaos and destruction ensues.

This film seems to have all the elements that makes this kind of story a winner. Unfortunately, it’s coming out on a very busy weekend. And how could anything in this film ever match the horror that is Marmaduke?

Get Him To The Greek, the film being spun-off from last year’s comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall featuring Russell Brand’s obnoxious rock and roller Aldous Snow, has been filming in Manhattan for the last several days. Yesterday, the production was in midtown’s Rockefeller Plaza to film a segment where Snow performs on NBC’s Today Show. (Click on any picture for a larger view.)

Despite the sweltering high70s/low 80s heat beating down on the city, Brand-as-Snow is decked out for the scene in a pair of leather pants, a black t-shirt and a green velor jacket. A scarf completes the ensemble. The plaza is filled with just enough extras to fill the shots. Many of them are attractive young women, understandable giving Snow’s stallion-like reputation. Three girls near the front wear t-shirts on which is emblazoned “I F***** Aldous Snow.”

Joining Brand for the film is Jonah Hill as Aaron, a young record intern (and different character from the one Hill played in Forgetting Sarah Marshall) tasked with getting the hard partying Snow to an important show at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles, but of course, things do not go as planned. Based on what we observed at the filming yesterday, I would hazard a guess that the scene being shot comes close to the end of the film. Although shot out of order, here is an approximate reconstruction of how the scenes may fit together.

For some reason, Snow seems to have entered an experimental stage with his music, as a group of musicians with traditional African instruments. in a segment before the Today Show performance is to start, Hill’s character, with a stain on the right label of his suit jacket, approaches one of the musicians, asking if he knows the words to Snow’s song “African Dream.”

Later, Snow is beginning his performance on the Today Show, the aforementioned song “African Dream.” The tempo is slow and the music a mixture of psychedelica and African Rhythms. Aldous begins to sing-

I walked the mystic deserts to take pictures of the poor…

But for some reason, the song doesn’t seem to sit well with him and he signals his band to stop. He turns to the crowd and asks “Who wants to hear this song?” The crowd response indicates that they aren’t too enthused with this tune.

And with what seems to be a change of heart over something, Snow then tells the crowd ” I’d rather play a song from when I really liked what I did…”

With that, the band starts into a faster-tempoed rock number entitled “The Clap,” with lyrics that go something like this-

We got the clap!
You got the clap!
We took the rock,
And you took the crack!
Oh yeah—-!

We got the crack!
And you got the smack!
We got the yellows,
And you got the black!
Oh—-!

During the song, Snow bounces around on stage, at one point approaching a Today Show production assistant to have her sing “I got the clap!” on mic before she throws her cue cards in the air and dances around. Aaron also stands off to the side, dancing to the music and look far more relieved than he did in the previous scene with the musician from the band.

Below are several other pictures taken at yesterday’s filming-

Jonah Hill and GET HIM TO THE GREEK writer/director Nicholas Stoller share a laugh between set-ups.

Thanks to Derek McCauley for his help in assembling this story.