1. Resident Evil: Retribution (Sony/Screen Gems, 3,012 Theaters, 95 Minutes, Rated R): Most films based on video games die a quick death at the box office. Not this one. This is the fifth installment of the franchise and is the main reason why Milla Jovovich doesn’t have to become a full-time participant of the comic-con circuit for the foreseeable future.

Doing a plot description for this film is kinda superfluous. If you are a fan of the franchise, you already know what it’s going to be about and you’re already there. If you haven’t seen one of these films, coming in at this stage of the game might not be worth the trouble.

But, since I have column space to fill, here it goes. Alice (Jovovich) fights zombies and the company that created them, while finding out more about her personal history.

2.Finding Nemo 3D (Disney, 2,904 Theaters, 100 Minutes, Rated G): I’m torn about this film. What it boils down to is this: I love Pixar (and like this film a lot) but hate the 3D trend with a passion. Love the fact the film is hitting theaters almost a decade (really!) after it was first released, sad that it is being released in a blatant cash grab.

The film is a classic and I recommend that if your kids (or you yourself) haven’t seen it, then by all means do so. If you’re lucky, then a theater near you might be showing it in non-3D, so you can save yourself THAT headache.

3. Last Ounce of Courage (Veritas/Rocky Mountain Pictures, 1,407 Theaters, 101 Minutes, Rated PG): Finally, we have this mystery entry for a film I have never heard of. This is what the synopsis on IMDB says about the film:

Last Ounce of Courage is the story of an American hero standing up for his beliefs in a time of cynicism and fear. Inspired by his grandson, a grieving father and courageous youth will rally their community to conserve the freedoms we the people hold dear. Bob Revere is a small town Mayor and combat decorated veteran. He faces a root of bitterness from his past filled with heartbreaking loss. His grandson comes back into his life after many years to ask the most important question, What are we doing with our life to make a difference? Bob had grown apathetic along with an entire town. Now with the help of children, a group of people all band together to inspire hope, take back the freedoms that are being lost and take a stand for truth.

Kinda vague, right? So I research further, and watch the trailer below, and find out that noble fight for freedom the soldier’s death inspires his son and father to fight is the fight to restore Christmas to his bucolic Red State-ish town. Yes, I live in a suburb of hyperliberal New York City and there are more Christmas decorations decorating the streets come November than you can choke a reindeer with, but in the redneck paradise Bob Revere (get it?) lives in, you can’t do so much as have a Christmas Parade without the ACLU getting involved.

Yes, this is the worst kind of ham-fisted propaganda–one that is poorly written, poorly acted, and poorly thought out. Instead of spending your money on this, put it in an envelope and send it off to the Romney campaign. It will probably be better spent that way.

1. The Lucky One (Warner Brothers, 3,155 Theaters, 101 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Whenever I see “From the makers of The Notebook and Insert name of other Nicholas Spark adaptation here,” I know exactly what I’ll be getting–a treackly romance with a quasi-absurd twist to it. But seldom is the twist as creepy as this one.

Zac Efron stars as an Iraqi War veteran who survives three tours of duty due to a special good luck charm–a picture of a woman that he randomly found in the desert. When he get back home, he stalks–er–I mean tracks her down, gets a job at a kennel her family owns, and begins to pitch woo.

I know nothing about the Sparks’ novel the film is based on, but I heard that it was based on a true story and the woman in the picture was the girlfriend of the soldier’s platoon mate. I don’t know if this is true, but it can’t be far from it. I mean, how else would her picture get in that area of Iraq anyway? That just makes this film that much creepier.

2. Think Like A Man (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,015 Theaters, 123 Minutes, Rated PG-13): 2012 is becoming a big year for films adapted from non-fiction books. Later this year, we can expect What to Expect When You’re Expecting, based on the successful self-help book for expectant mothers. This week, we get this film, adapted from Steve Harvey’s relationship advice book, Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man.

I think this trend is ludicrous. I mean, The Lucky One shows there is no lack of fiction to build films around. Hollywood should have a while before they get to the self-help section.

This one at least involves Harvey, as he builds a story around a group of men, upset because their mates keep getting the upper hand in their relationships thanks to Harvey’s book, who act to counteract the advice the girls are getting. That’s a sign of a bunch of great relationships there.

3. Chimpanzee (Disney, 1,563 Theaters, 78 Minutes, Rated G): In what’s becoming a yearly tradition, Disney is releasing a nature documentary to celebrate Earth Day. This year, the film features adorable chimpanzees.

The story focuses on a 3-year-old who is separated from its troop and adopted by another chimp. But does the plot really matter? Even if it was 78 minutes of the chimpanzee eating food it would still be more appealing than the other two films this week.

1. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (Warner Brothers, 3,470 Theaters, Rated PG): This is one of those “okay, we’ll call it a sequel” sequels. When 2008′s Journey to the Center of the Earth became an unexpected success (over #241 million worldwide), a sequel seemed likely but there was none in the works since financial success was anything but assured.

The script for this movie was intended to be a standalone film which was rewritten to take part in the franchise. Gone are Brendan Fraser and director Eric Brevig. Sticking around is Josh Hutcherson as Sean and the quest to find a missing relative (this time it’s grandpa, played by Michael Caine). New this time around is Dwayne Johnson as Sean’s mom’s boyfriend/adult chaperone (awkward!), animals who are either much bigger than they should be or much smaller than they should be, and Vanessa Hudgens as Sean’s love interest.

I guess it does come close enough to the first Journey to qualify as a sequel, but it probably would be better as a stand alone film.

2. Safe House (Universal, 3,118 Theaters, 115 Minutes, Rated R): Denzel Washington is back to playing a bad guy…or is he?

Washington is playing Tobin Frost, an ex-CIA agent who has gone over to the dark side. When he is captured by his former employers, he is put in a safe house managed by Ryan Reynolds. When a group of bad guys storm the supposedly safe location, Washington and Reynolds must go on the run. They must trust in each other in order to save their lives, which is hard because neither one trusts the other at all.

Not that I know anything about the film, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Washington’s character was a good guy all along or had run afoul of a criminal element in the CIA.

Regardless, even more interesting than that is seeing how Ryan Reynolds fares acting with Washington. I like Reynolds as an actor, but he’s not in the same league as Washington, one of the best actors of this generation.

3. The Vow (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,958 Theaters, 104 Minutes, Rated PG-13): I love the way they are marketing this film. “Starring Channing Tatum from Dear John. Rachel McAdams from The Notebook.” And there’s a lot of emphasis placed on that fact. It’s the producer’s way of saying, “Listen, these two actors have experience in sappy, romantic films about two, star-crossed lovers who try to get together despite whatever fate throws in their way, which is just the kind of thing that happens in this film. If past performance is any indication of future results, this should be the best movie ever! Come see it!” If it works, expect a cycle of other actors from other sappy romances to become interchangable within the genre. It will become mix and match cinema.

And what does fate throw at these to young lovebirds? A car accident, a coma and partial amnesia, all thrown directly at McAdams’ character. This causes her to forget that she is married to Tautm’s character, and he is forced to win her back. Supposedly based on a true story, but, really, if you have legal documents that state you are married to someone, pictures from a wedding, and friends and family telling you that you are married, are you just going to ignore all that and make your hubby woo you all over again?

4. Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace 3D (FOX, 2,655 Theaters, 136 Minutes, Rated PG): The wife and I were coming out of the movies the other day and we saw a poster for this film in a display case right next to one for the Titanic rerelease, and I said to her, “Why doesn’t Hollywood just stop making new films and rerelease all their classic films over and over again.” I mean, royalties and residuals have to be cheaper than paying new actors to do new stuff right? Andit’s not like Hollywood isn’t already being slammed for its lack of originality. That way at least they’d be up front about it.

Of course, I’m being sarcastic. But seeing those two posters right next to each other made me realize that the wave of the future is actually a wave to the past.

Anyhow, if there’s anyone who knows anything about wringing the most money out of a franchise, it’s George Lucas. And here he is, rereleasing the Star Wars franchise yet another time to theaters to capitalize on the moribund trend that is 3-D. And he’s starting with the weakest installment to boot. There are some good things (whenever Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor are on screen alone, the opening battle, Darth Maul, the closing battle, the spry version of Yoda), but the bad (Jar Jar Binks, Jake Lloyd’s performance, Jar Jar Binks, the thinly veiled and insulting cultural stereotypes, Jar Jar Binks, the nonsensical plot points, and Jar Jar Binks) far outweigh them in such a way that no amount of 3-D can fix. My advice? Wait until they get to episode IV until you head back into the theaters. Wait until this version hits DVD and Blu-Ray, which will be the 573rd and 574th version of a Star Wars film to hit home video.

1. Underworld Awakening (Sony/Screen Gems, 3,078 Theaters, 88 Minutes, Rated R): I don’t know if it’s a good sign or a bad sign that Kate Beckinsale is back in this franchise. Well, it’s good in the sense that I always like her in the role, bad in the sense that it’s a bit of a step back for her, isn’t it?

Anyhoo, Beckinsale returns as Selene, the vampire warrior, who is awaken to find that both the Vampires and the Lycans (werewolves) are threat with annihilation by humans. As Selene fights for both races’ survival, she comes across a half-vampire/half-lycan child who just might be her daughter.

The film looks like just what you’d expect from the franchise: Beckinsale in skin-tight leather, kicking ass. It won’t be Shakepeare, but if your taste run toward the goth action film, it should be entertaining.

2. Red Tails (Fox, 2,512 Theaters, 120 Minutes, Rated PG-13): The ads might say this film is “from George Lucas,” but he didn’t write or direct it. His only credit is as executive producer. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t contribute.

Lucas started developing the project, based on the real-life Tuskegee Airmen, back in the late 1980s. It was intended to open in the early 1990s, but fears amongst the Hollywood studios about financing a big budget film with a predominantly black cast made the road the the screen an arduous one, even for a producer of Lucas’ stature.

But the film is finally hitting screens. Lucas hired an African-American director (Anthony Hemmingway) and African-American writers (John Ridley, who wrote one of my most favorite comics of the last decade in The American Way, and Aaron McGruder of The Boondocks fame). I don’t see why all audiences wouldn’t be interested in heroes fight evil, no matter what color the heroes are. I hope audiences prove that to be true this weekend.

3. Haywire (Relativity, 2,439 Theaters, 93 Minutes, Rated R): It’s not easy for any athlete to make the jump to film stardom. For every Dwayne Johnson or Jim Brown, there are twice as many Kurt Thomases and Brian Bosworths.  Gina Carrano faces an even more difficlt challenge, being a female MMA fighter trying to break into the world of action films, a world not all that receptive to women with loads of acting experience.

But few athletes could ask for a better introduction to the world of movies than Carrano got. She is paired with an A-list, Oscar winning director in Steven Soderbergh, who surrounded her with a great cast that features Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Michael Douglas, and Bill Paxton. Add to that a revenge plot that almost always works (a black ops agent is framed and betrayed and seeks revenge) and you have a pretty solid film.

The trailer was awesome, the kind that made me wish the film started right then. I don’t know if it will open well, especially considering there is another action film with a female protagonist opening the same day, but it’s not for lack of trying.

1. Drive (FilmDistrict, 2,886 Theaters, 100 Minutes, Rated R): Ryan Gosling, fresh of gaining a whole new batch of fans due to his overall studliness in Crazy, Stupid, Love. takes another step towards a more mainstream career with this film.

Gosling did star in The Notebook, but  never truly capitalized on mainstream stardom from that role. He is mostly thought of as the indie film star with such efforts as Half Nelson, Lars and the Real Girl and Blue Valentine. But depending on how audiences relate to this hard-boiled action film, he might be making a permanent break towards the mainstream.

He plays a wheelman who finds out a contract has been put out on his life due to job gone wrong. Somehow, Carey Mulligan gets pulled along for the ride.

The film has an interesting cast, including Christina Hendricks, so it might be worth a look.

2. I Don’t Know How She Does It (The Weinstein Company, 2,476 Theaters, 95 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw in Sex in the City presented the idealized version or the metropolitan woman. She had a fun job that made little or no demands on her time yet provided a strong enough financial foundation so she could live her life exactly the way she wanted. Meet the girls for two hour lunches? Done! Shopping sprees on 5th Avenue? Sure, why not? Travel to exotic locales? She’ll meet you at the airport.

Taking that into consideration, her role in the film might be considered her an acting stretch. She plays an urbanite who has to work hard to succeed at her job while trying to juggle a family at home and is constantly trying to make the ends of her life meet. Perhaps no more realistic that the fairy tale that was Sex in the City, but perhaps more relatable for modern audiences.

The film has an interesting cast, including Christina Hendricks, so it might be worth a look.

3. Straw Dogs (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,408 Theaters, 110 Minutes, Rated R): While the protagonist of the film has changed from a mathematician to  a screenwriter and the location moved from rural England to the rural Deep South, U.S.A. (because that is the only place that a plot like this can happen, right? Like nobody up north ever gets violent? Sheesh.), this film appears to be a direct copy of the 1971 original, right down to the poster itself.

The story is about that screenwriter (James Marsden) who relocates to his wife’s (Kate Bosworth) redneck home town. The move is one of many causes of tensions between the pair, tensions which are exacerbated when the locals start harrassing the couple. When the locals cross a line that should never be crossed, the screenwriter gets his revenge in the most bloody way possible.

This of course raises the question, if you are going to do a shot for shot remake of a classic film, what will bring people to see this in the theaters rather than just renting the original? Will James Marsden bring something to the role that Dustin Hoffman didn’t? I like Marsden’s work but even I don’t think that’s possible.

If you do decided to go see this film, and regret the decision half way in, just pretend that Richard White and Lois Lane from Superman Returns are on a vacation that goes horribly wrong, and keep hoping for Superman to come in and save them.

4. The Lion King (3D) (Disney, 2,330 Theaters, 89 Minutes, Rated G): I just think it’s ironic that this film, one of the first of presumably many films in Disney’s catalog that will be rereleased in the 3-D format, will be hitting theaters one day after a Slate article that decares the 3-D trend all but dead.

The articles shows that the trend has been in decline since August of last year, and that a number of high profile films were earning more money in good ol’2-D than they were in 3-D.

Of course, this is just for new films being released in 2-D as well as 3-D. This here is a re-release of a classic movie in the 3-D format. This will bring a bit of novelty that will bring in the customers, right? And the fact it is in a limited two-week only release will make it more of an event, therefore, more successful? Right?

Maybe, maybe not. But since this one in a planned line of 3-D rereleases by Disney and other companies, I’m sure there will be a lot of people checking the pulses of the 3-D fad to see if this film revives it.

1. Captain America: The First Avenger (Paramount, 3,500 Screens, 125 Minutes, Rated PG-13): So, it took 21 years, but Captain America has finally made it to the big screen. The aborted 1990 Captain America starring Matt Salinger in the lead role only received a limited international release before going straight to home video. This one seems a little better.

A scrawny Brooklyn kid during WWII wants to sign up for the army to fight Nazis but is deemed too sickly to be accepted. His dedication catches eye of the powers that be behind a special project to create a legion of genetically altered super-soldiers. The process works and makes him the peak of human potential.

Red Skull is still the villain and he is German but not a Nazi. Apparently, he’s even too “extreme” for Hitler and he starts his own fascist group in Hydra.

The Rocketeer was one of my most favorite comic book films, so I trust Joe Johnson with this. Cap is one of my favorite characters and I can’t wait to see what they do with him this time around.

2. Friends With Benefits (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,926 Theaters, 109 Minutes, Rated R): See New Releases: January 21

1. Bridesmaids (Universal, 2,917 Theaters, 125 Minutes, Rated R): Would it be overly simplistic to call this the female version of The Hangover?

Granted, there are some major differences that go beyond the sex of the protagonists, like this takes place before and during the bachelorette party and the other deals with the aftermath of the bachelor party.

But both feature a group of people who really don’t know each other coming together and celebrating a wedding of a friend and bond through the wacky experiences.

Another big difference is the fact that this more Kristen Wiig’s character’s story than an ensemble as it deals with her living above her means. I am the only person on the face of the Earth who does not think that Wiig is a comic genius. To me, she was a modern day Melanie Hutsell (who, coincidentally, is also in the film), a woman with about two facial expressions and a couple funny voices in lieu of creating good characters.

2. Priest (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,864 Theaters, 87 Minutes, Rated PG-13): One day, perhaps sooner than you think, summer will be one comic book movie released each and every week. We’re pretty close this year, is this film marks three comic based films, following so close after last week’s Thor and the week before’s Dylan Dog.

This one is a break from the Korean comics that inspired it, as it removes many of the layers of the original’s plot to focus on a vampire-hunting priest in a post-apocalyptic future.

Paul Bettany plays the priest in question, who must defy his church to go and rescue his niece from the vampires.

1. Tangled (Disney, 3,603 Theaters, 100 Minutes, Rated PG): Ah, Thanksgiving! The time of year where we reunite with our families, immediately get sick of them and then go out and see a movie. Four are opening today, and they cover just about every member of the family.

There is a lot about this one that makes me skittish. First, it’s a non-Pixar CGI Disney film, which is always a dicey proposition. And while it is what Disney usually does best, a fairy tale adaptation (in this case, it’s Rapunzel), they are giving it a quirky, wacky comedic twist on it. And while the original story was aimed more at girls, the film seems aimed more at boys. There might be a little bait and switch going on there.

That being said, it still looks good enough for the young (and young at heart) to go see. I laughed out loud once or twice during some of the ads, so, that’s a plus.

2. Burlesque (Sony/ Screen Gems, 3,037 Theaters, 100 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Hey, moms! If you can trust your kids to go into Tangled by themselves, and you go to a showing of this film going up at the same time, you’ll leave the theater the same time they do.

But, would you really want to see it? On one hand, it looks like Oscar bait. Well, it looks like Chicago, but that film did win an Oscar. And it has an intriguing cast–Christina Aguilera making her film debut, Cher making her return to film, solid supporting actors like Stanley Tucci, Alan Cumming, Peter Gallagher, Kristen Bell and Dianna Argon.

But the plot is so old that it can remember a time before we had Social Security, televisions in every home and a second World War. A small town girl comes to the big city in hopes of becoming a star. She gets a job at a theater that is down on its luck and barely hanging on. Through pluck and determination, the farm girl gets to perform at the theater and, gosh darn it, isn’t she a hit! But does she have what it takes to save the theater! Ooh, I hope so!

3. Love And Other Drugs (FOX, 2,455 Theaters, 113 Minutes, Rated R): Here’s another one where I laughed out loud at the ads and yet have reservations about the actual film.

Whenever a film, especially a romance, is listed as a comedy and a drama, it usually never is really good at either or both at the same time. And this films is listed as a comedy and a drama.

Brokeback Mountain co-stars Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal reunite in this film. Hathaway plays a free spirit that will never be tamed. Gyllenhaal plays charming rogue who is more than a match for her. They’re in love, but will it last?

Sounds good if it was just a romantic comedy. But since drug abuse plays a role in the film, and Gyllenhaal plays a pharmaceutical rep, I can imagine where the drama comes in. And that’s a bit off putting.

4. Faster (CBS Films, 2,454 Theaters, 98 Minutes, Rated R): And then there’s this one. No fairy tale romances, no singing, no dramedy, just somebody killing a ;lot of people as fast as he can, the way the best revenge flicks work out.

Dwayne Johnson leaves the world of the kiddie flicks behind to return to the action genre he started out in. He plays an escaped ex-con who is tracking down the people responsible for killing his brother. He, in turn, is tracked down by a pair of cops and a pair of assassins.

See? That’s pretty much all you need for an action/revenge film. This one might not get great reviews from critics, heck, it might not be good at all, but it’s bound to be entertaining.  

Okay, quickly.

Tangled might have a chance in the already crowded Best Animated film category.

Burlesque does seem like Oscar bait, but is it really? Cher already has an award but could get a nod no matter how hackneyed the plot is.

Love and Other Drugs might seem like a long shot for any kind of nomination, but it is directed by Edward Zwick. Zwick has an Oscar as a producer for Shakespeare in Love), but as a director, he is good at getting his actors nods/awards (Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Wantenabe, Denzel Washington). Hathaway and Gyllenhaal both have nominations in the past. So them getting acting nods is not entirely unheard of.

It’s pretty safe to say the chances of Faster getting any Oscar nominations are pretty slim. Well, outside of the technical awards, that is.  

A film in limited release that could get some attention from the Academy is The King’s Speech (Opening Friday, 4 Theaters, The Weinstein Company, 118 Minutes, Rated R). It’s based on a true story (of the man who helped England’s King George the IV ascend to the throne), it’s the story of a man overcoming an affliction (granted, it’s stuttering, but still), it’s leads have had nods in the past and one victory to their credit (Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, Geoffrey Rush), and it’s British.

1. The Town (Warner Brothers, 2,861 Theaters, 123 Minutes, Rated R): You have to admire the second act that Ben Affleck is currently enjoying. Once, he seemed to be a rare Hollywood icon. An Oscar winner for his writing ability, he seemed poised to have a long and successful career as a romantic leading man/thinking man’s action hero, a double threat if you will.

Then came Gigli.

That film was a thermonuclear bomb, laying waste to both his and Jennifer Lopez’s film career (J-Lo is only now starting to dig her way out). It seemed like Affleck was soon to be consigned to the kind of films that are only released on DVD or maybe a high-profile TV show.

But before he slipped that far, he tried his hand at directing. When it was announced that he would be directing Gone Baby Gone, the instinctual reaction would be to mock. Instead, he gave us one of the best films of the new millennium, and helped Amy Ryan get a well deserved Oscar nod.

Now he back in the directors chair with another film adapted from a crime novel featuring an eclectic, albeit very talented cast. Only this time, he’s taken on a role in the production. Will he hit a sophomore slump? Or will his successful second act continue.

2. Devil (Universal, 2,810 Theaters, 80 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Legend has it that in many a theater that ran this trailer, the audience let out a collective groan when the words “From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan” came on the screen. I only noticed some derisive mumbling when I saw it, but my mileage might vary.

Shyamalan co-wrote and produced the film, so he is a part of it, but he isn’t directing it. I don’t know if that makes a difference but there you go.

The plot does seem like a Shyamalan plot. Four strangers become trapped in an elevator when it breaks down. If that wasn’t bad enough, it appears that one of the four is the devil, and is Hellbent on torturing the other three.

Having a horror film set in the confined space of an elevator seem like a no-brainer, but I’m not sure in a good or a bad way. It seems perfect for tension, but, really, if the devil is one of the four in the elevator with you, it shouldn’t take 80 minutes to find out. 

3. Easy A (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,800 Theaters, 92 Minutes, Rated PG-13): An unpopular teenager decides to help out a high-school buddy. Her friend is gay but like that fact to remain a secret. At a party, they fake having sex. The aftermath has surprising results for the girl, as she now finds herself popular in a number of different ways.

This has been getting some good notices, comparing it to Heathers and Mean Girls. Pretty heady company.

I lot, I guess, would depend on Emma Stone. It’s her likability that will be the determining factor on how good the film is. The concept seems fairly airtight and hard to screw up. But if you don’t feel for the lead, then it will all go out the window. However, if she pulls it off, this could be a star-making role.

4. Alpha And Omega (Lionsgate, 2,625 Theaters, 88 Minutes, Rated PG): The bad thing about the success of  Pixar, Dreamworks, and other CGI animation houses, is that it gives the impression that this kind of success is so easy that anyone can do it. But if you lack Pixar’s sense of heart or Dreamworks sense of fun, you are not going to succeed.

This film seems kind of originality by way of cookie cutter, like a Frankenstein creation of some sorts. It’s a romance between different classes. This has been done before. Never with animated wolves, but still. You have the added dynamic of one of the pair being great at what they do, and the other being a hapless loser. The only change is that the female is the dominant one out of the pair. Of course, they are put together on a dangerous adventure where they can learn from one another and fall in love.

Other than that, the only thing this film has going for it is that it turned out to be Dennis Hopper’s last film. Which, well, is what it is.

1. Resident Evil: Afterlife (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,800 Theaters, 97 Minutes, Rated R): Films adapted from video games usually don’t do well at the box office, yet this franchise is in it’s fourth installment. What gives?

It’s not like the films of the series were any better received than any other video game films. Each of the films have been lambasted by critics and while Paul W.S. Anderson’s name isn’t as disrespected as Uwe Boll’s is, he’s not that far off.

Could it be the zombies? Could it be the Matrix-esque slow-motion gunplay? Could it be that master thespian Milla Jovovich? What ever the reason, here we are with a third sequel.

When we last left Alice, she was trying to get a bunch of survivors to a safe haven up in Alaska. Well, that haven wasn’t all that safe, so she goes to Los Angeles, one of the most densely populated cities in the world, to seek refuge. What she instead finds, surprise, surprise, is the city overrun with zombies and herself smack dab in the middle of a trap.