1. The Great Gatsby (Warner Brothers,3,535 Theaters, PG-13, 143 Minutes): So, this film finally arrives. This film was supposed to come out in December of last year, then was moved to July of this year, then moved back to now.

Unlike certain other members of the FBOL staff, I do not have any animosity against Baz Luhrmann. I actually liked Moulin Rouge quite a bit. But I have to say that we really didn’t need this film made.

I mean, it has been adapted five times in the past. I guess that shows the timeless nature of the classic novel that it keeps coming back again and again. And I’m sure that the film would be visually brilliant and stunning. But I doubt that it would interpret the novel any better than the one actually made the year after the novel was published.

And it most certainly didn’t need to be presented in 3-D. I’m sure that the audience will be awed by the Jazz Age crumbling to pieces right on top of them, but it adds a gimmick to something that should ooze class.

2. Tyler Perry Presents Peeples (Lionsgate, 2,041 Theaters, 95 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Just is the awe inspiring power and influence of Tyler Perry that his name is attached to films he has almost nothing to do with.

Well, he’s listed as a producer. It depends how hands-on he was. But this film is written and directed by one Tina Gordon Chism. But at least he’s lending his name to help first time film makers follow their dream to make their own rip-off of Meet the Parents.

Craig Robinson plays a schlumpy everyman who somehow is engaged to the incredibly beautiful Kerry Washington. When he tags along with her to a family reunion out on the Hamptons, he soon butts heads with her father, played by David Alan Grier (when did he get old enough to play a dad?) Hilarity ensues. I hope Robinson is careful around any ceramic urns on fireplaces.

1. The Host (Open Road Films, 3,202 Theaters, 125 Minutes, Rated PG-13): If you were thinking, or, rather, hoping that Stephenie Meyer was a one-trick pony, well, think, or, rather, hope again. Because the master of the vampire/werewolf love triangle also wrote a romance about space aliens! And since Twilight did so well at the box office, they decided to make a film out of this book too!

The book and the movie detail an Earth overtaken by a race of body snatching aliens. One of these aliens takes over a woman named Melanie, Melanie resists. The two enter a psychic battle for control of Melanie’s body, complicated when they both fall in love with the same man–twice. No, not one man two times, both Melanie and her alien infiltrator gain feelings for a man named Ian and a man named Jared… oh, hell. I can’t even bother to continue.

If you haven’t guessed, I’m not a big Meyer fan. But there are a lot of them out there.It is unlikely this will do Twilight  numbers, but it could do quite well.

2. Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (Lionsgate, 2,047 Theaters, 111 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Suffice it to say, I am not a Tyler Perry fan either. I do admire the way he followed his dream to the big screen and the way he found his audience. But I am not his target audience and even if I was,his films seem a bit flimsy and shallow to me. Yet they are presented like they are weighty pieces of art. Not for me.

Take this one, for example. It’s about a marriage counselor who decides to cheat on her husband with her client. On the surface, that seems like ready-made drama. But, really?  A trained professional willing to forgo her ethics in such a grand fashion? Because her husband watches TV instead of paying attention to her? Eh, doesn’t ring true to me.

Needless to say, as the affair goes on, it takes a nasty turn that will change the counselor’s life forever.

And if that is not bad enough, we have that legendary thespian, Dame Kim Kardashian in a supporting role. Granted, it appears to be a best friend/co-worker type of part, so it’s not like she’s going to have to do any heavy lifting. But, seriously? If you’re casting Kim Kardashian in your drama, you are scraping the bottom of the barrel.

1. Paranormal Activity 4 (Paramount, 3,412 Theaters, 88 Minutes, Rated R): The problem with horror franchises is that the powers that be take the franchises just a bit too far. Usually, by the time a fourth installment is offered, the franchise has jumped the shark.

There are, of course, exceptions, but that is pretty much the rule. And this week, the Paranormal Activity franchise enters the fourth film of the franchise. Be afraid, be very afraid.

And, quite frankly, it’s amazing this concept was able to be stretched to four installments. The first was a rather unique “found footage” of a house possessed by demons and the homicidal effect it had on the women who lived there. The second follows the homicidal woman to her sisters house for more homicide, and the third features the sisters as children showing that the demons might have gotten an earlier start than anyone could have imagined. Now, in this one, the homicidal, possibly demonically possessed woman and the nephew she stole from her sister move in next door to a new family. Enough already.

2. Alex Cross (Summit Entertainment, 2,539 Theaters, 101 Minutes, Rated PG-13): Is guess being a renowned playwright, screenwriter and director wasn’t enough for Tyler Perry. And dressing up in drag and having “take-you-out-of-the-film” cameos in sci-fi reboots didn’t stretch his acting muscles quite enough. Because Perry is back in movie theaters this week, in a film he didn’t write or direct, purely as an actor.

He plays the title role in this film, and if the name sounds familiar to you, then either you are a fan of James Patterson’s writing or perhaps saw Kiss The Girls or Along Came A Spider. Because the character appeared in those films as well.

Only difference is that in those films, the character was portrayed by Morgan Freeman. Granted, I am not a big Tyler Perry fan, but I don’t know how anybody can’t think of that as a major step down.

1. Ted (Universal, 3,239 Theaters, 106 Minutes, Rated R): It’s hard to imagine when Seth MacFarlane wasn’t one of the most powerful men in Hollywood. Family Guy was cancelled after three seasons and it looked like he might just fade into the ether.

However, Family Guy got an unheard of reprieve  on FOX after it became a hit as part of Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim line-up. FOX gave it another chance on the network, the new found fans followed it back, and soon enough, MacFarlane add American Dad! and The Cleveland Show to the FOX line-up, lining his pockets all the way.

And now, films. This one has an interesting premise (a childhood wish for a bear that could come to life has different implications when the kid grows up) and a good supporting cast, but, for me at least, Mark Wahlberg seems miscast in the lead role. Not to be ageist, but I feel the part would have been better served with a younger actor.

2. Magic Mike (Warner Brothers, 2,930 Theaters, 110 Minutes, Rated R): So, we finally get to the male stripper movie.

Loosely based on the real-life adventures of star Channing Tatum’s days as a stripper, the film focuses on a young man being taught the stripping ropes by a more experienced dancer. All directed by Steven Soderburgh (?).

I have no idea how how this film will do at the box office. I did get the cover story in Entertainment Weekly, but that was back in May. The film looks like either a drama or a comedy, depending on what ad you saw. It does have a good ensemble cast. But will it draw a big enough audience to make some money? We’ll see.

3. Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection (Lionsgate, 2,161 Theaters, 114 Minutes): Tyler Perry once seemed to be a sure-fire box office draw. He had a built in audience and every film he did seemed automatic to debut at number one. He’s been struggling of late, but this latest film seems to be an attempt to reach a larger demographic.

Eugene Levy and Denise Richards star as the Needlemans, a family that has to enter witness protection. Why? Because Levy’s character was accused of running a Ponzi scheme that somehow the Mob was involved in. How were they involved? I don’t know. But I also don’t know why Madea’s house was chosen as the Needlemans hiding spot either.

The Madea movies still do well at the box office, but I doubt this film could beat the other films released this week, let alone Brave. 

4. People Like Us (Touchstone, 2,055 Theaters, 115 Theaters, Rated PG-13): Chris Pine stars as a man who finds out while settling his late father’s estate that his father, well, got around. Got around so much that his father fathered a daughter with another woman.

He does what anyone would do in this kind of situation–he tracks his sister down, infiltrates her life without ever once telling her who he is. She does the natural thing when a cute young man ingratiates himself into her life and becomes a positive role model for her son. She falls in love with him.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

All brought to us by the writers of Star Trek, Cowboys and Aliens and  Transformers. Of course.

1. Act Of Valor (Relativity, 3,039 Theaters, 111 Minutes, Rated R): If you’ve seen any marketing for this film, you’ll know that one of the biggest marketing aspects for the film is that the cast consists of active-duty Navy Seals in the cast.

My response? So what?

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against the brave and intelligent men who serve in the Navy Seals. They brought down Bin Laden and did it so well that it looked easy. They are my heroes.

And if I have any terrorist overlord to take down, they’ll be first on my contact list. But their skills in stealth combat has no bearing on their acting abilities. I assume their work experience does add an air of authenticity, but this authenticity would be better served if they wrote or directed the film. As it is, it’s just a flimsy gimmick.

2. Gone (Summit Entertainment, 2,186 Theaters, 94 Minutes, Rated PG-13): When her sister goes missing, Jill knows exactly what happened. The serial killer who kidnapped her years ago has returned and is out for vengeance. Problem is, Jill has no proof of this and no one else believes her. Jill must face her tormentor and rescue her sister—alone.

This film would be annoying to me on so many levels, all tied to the plot. Why wouldn’t the serial killer just come after Jill? I mean, why other than then the film would only be an hour long–if that? I know they are trying to set up that the killer is trying to mess with Jill’s mind, but serial killers typically don’t work that way.

And why wouldn’t the police believe her? She escaped from a serial killer, right? Would it kill the cops to check on the killer’s whereabouts?

3. Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds (Lionsgate, 2,132 Theaters, 111 Minutes, Rated PG-13): No, this isn’t a list of the charitable contributions Perry has made with his Madea money. He’s not THAT arrogant (I think).

No, this is the latest film from Tyler Perry and it marks a bit of a change of pace for him. He is in the lead role, but not in drag. He plays a successful businessman who’s life is turned around when he meets a struggling single mom who works on the custodial staff where he works. He is inspired to take action to close the distance between the working rich and the working poor.

In other words, this is a fairy tale. If this election period has taught us anything, it’s that the rich care about anything, it’s only getting richer.

4. Wanderlust (Universal, 2,001 Theaters, 98 Minutes, Rated R): If Good Deeds provides an idealistic look at the recent economic turmoil, then this film provides a more archaic, if not just as unrealistic, approach to the subject matter.

Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston play Manhattanites who lose their jobs and have to seek cheaper ways to live. They eventually settle on that bastion of the 1960s Free Love movement, the commune.

Communes do still exist today, but more often than not they are created for economic reasons rather than just so everybody can have sex with one another.

The film is written by David Wain and Ken Marino and directed by Wain. They have been involved in a lot of great projects in the past, all the way back to The State. So I got to have faith that they will make this film pay off even though it is a stretch.

1. Thor (Paramount, 3,955 Theaters, 114 Minutes, Rated PG-13): So, growing up as a comic book reader, Thor was never my thing. He was a big blond guy who spoke in a Shakespearean style and fought trolls and giants. He wasn’t as identifiable to me as Captain America, Spider-Man, the X-Men or, well, any other Marvel hero was.

So, when he was listed as being the next in line for the big screen treatment, I had to shake my head. Yes, I know they are taking steps to lead up to The Avengers film, and even the most rabid Thor hater would say you can’t have The Avengers without Thor being involved. But it still looked like this was setting the stage for Marvel’s first big flop.

However, they have done everthing right with this film, starting with the cast and the director to the script and treatment to the marketing. It went from a film that I would begrudgingly see to a film that I was actually looking forward to seeing. And the advance reviews (83% fresh at Rotten Tomatoes as I write this) make it seem like my changed perceptions are right. Hope the rest of the world agrees.

2. Something Borrowed (Warner Brothers, 2,904 Theaters, 103 Minutes, Rated PG-13): So, there are some who might say that this film would be the definition of perfect counter programing. The perfect alternative to a Nordic man hit people with a hammer would be a romantic comedy about a complicated love triangle. This is, of course, if we ignore the fact that it is a long-haired, hunky, Nordic guy hitting people with a hammer in a hunky way.

The plot is from chick flick Heaven. Rachel is the rather plain girl (you can tell because she is a brunette) who lives in the shadow of her more lustrous best friend Darcy (you can tell because she is a blonde). When Rex comes into play, Rachel finds an immediate attraction, but she is no match for Darcy in the field of pitching woo, and Darcy quickly latches on to Rex. Rachel’s unrequited love becomes an issue as she is asked to become Darcy’s made of honor in her wedding to Rex.

So, yeah. If that seems at all up your alley, well, there you are. Adapted from the Emily Giffen novel.

3. Jump The Broom (TriStar, 2,035 Theaters, 108 Minutes, Rated PG-13): If I were a betting man, which I am, I’d bet that most filmgoers will think that this film is directed by Tyler Perry. It’s not (as you can tell by the lack of Tyler Perry’s… in the title) but it is close enough that it can fool the non-savvy out there.

And it’s not just because it has a predominantly African-American cast featuring a mix of good, experienced actors like Angela Bassett and Paula Patton and relative unknowns like Laz Alonzo. It also features, if trailers are to be believed, Perry’s over-the-top comedy/seering melodrama style and stereotypes not so much addressed but abused.

The film focuses on a wedding between a middle class man and an upper class woman. The nuptuals are in danger as the man’s overprotective mother sets her mind to breaking up the wedding. Hilarity, so they claim, will ensue.

1. Water For Elephants (FOX, 2,700 Theaters, 122 Minutes, Rated PG-13): The book was a unique phenomenon in my circle of friends. Several people I knew are rabid fans of the book and were so passionate about it that it caused problems in their respective relationships whenever they talked to other people about it.

So, this film could be a sure-fire bet, if they don’t screw it up. Screw it up, like, say, casting the wrong actor in the lead role and giving it to the wrong director.

Enter Robert Pattinson and Francis Lawrence. Pattison is known for his completely underwhelming work on the Twilight films and Lawrence has come from the field of music videos to helm such masterpieces as Constantine and I Am Legend (To be honest, I like both of those films, but not everyone did). So not a lot of confidence on those two factors.

But it does have Oscar winners Reese Witherspoon and Christoph Waltz in it, so it can’t be all that terrible. And if only half of the Twihards come see it, it should be a hit. But will fans of the book be happy?

2. Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (Lionsgate, 2,288 Theaters, 106 Minutes, Rated PG-13): After straying of the reservation for last year’s lackluster For Colored Girls, Tyler Perry returns to where he feels most comfortable–dressing up as an old woman and who screams at her family.

While the trailer looks like it will be wacky fun (if you call quoting Rush Hour wacky fun) but I’m sure there will be the typical maudlin melodrama worked in.

These movies are what they are. I am not their target audience but that audience seems to like them. Let’s see how it fares against Water for Elephants.

3. African Cats (Disneynature, 1,200 Theaters, 89 minutes, Rated G): Once again, in honor of Earth Day, Disneynature runs a family friendly wildlife documentary.

This time it’s about two families of cats, focusing on mothers teaching their young how to exist in the wild.

I like this. This is old school Disney. I grew up with a number of their nature documentaries, so I’m glad that a new generation gets their opportunity to enjoy them.

This documentary is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. I’m not all that familiar with the wildlife of Africa, but I really, really hope that there are snakes on that plain.

1. Clash Of The Titans (Warner Brothers, 3,777 Theaters, 118 Minutes, rated PG-13): The original Clash of the Titans, released in 1981, is regarded as a camp classic. This is mostly due to a cast that ran the gamut from Sir Laurence Olivier to Harry Hamlin, from Maggie Smith to Burgess Meredith and also for being the last film to feature Ray Harryhausen’s classic stop motion animation.

But was it ever considered a great movie? Or even one that cried out for a remake? Or even financial seemed like a good idea to remake?

This version does have some things going for it. It has a fresh from Avatar Sam Worthington in it, and Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes as well. But the tone seems to be less deliberately campy than the original and Harryhausen, who retired after the original, has been replaced by a computer. Those facts might outweigh the good in this case.

2. Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too (Lionsgate, 2,155 Theaters, 121 Minutes, Rated PG-13): I had one bright hope when it came to Tyler Perry. It was that eventually, he would run out of stage plays of his to adapt into film and then we’d never see or hear from him again.

But then he decided to make sequels to the films he already adapted from his plays! This could go on forever! We may never be rid of him.

Now, I am nowhere near Perry’s target audience, but from what I’ve seen, his rampant popularity astounds me. To be honest, he’s running from behind with me by just his name being on everything and him taking the showiest part for himself–in drag no less. But I just don’t get the success.

But he does have success and all his films do well at the box office. How well will he do against the Kraken and the Miley/Nicholas Sparks combo is another question entirely. He’s got his box office work cut out for him.

1.Whiteout (Warner Brothers, 2,700+ Theaters, 96 Minutes, Rated R): When the graphic novel this film was based on was released first came out, I was led to believe that it was crime fiction, basically of a U.S. Marshall chasing a killer through Antarctica.

But certain ads for the film adaptation make it out to be more supernatural in nature., like Alien only with a frozen wasteland replacing outer space. So, I don’t know which is which, but just keep in mind that when you go see it that there might be a bit of the old bait and switch going on.

Also confusing is the scene in the TV ad where Kate Beckinsale is wandering around in her skivvies. I know Antarctic stations have to be heated, but it’s still got to be chilly. Put on a robe!

2. Sorority Row (Summit Entertainment, 2,500+ Theaters, 101 Minutes, Rated R): I’m not saying I approve, but comely young lasses are often the popular victims in these hack and slash movies. So, I have to ask, is this the first film set at a sorority house? It can’t be, can it?

Well, anyway, this film is a revenge vehicle along the lines of I Know What You Did Last Summer. Apparently, the sisters cover-up the death of one of their own after a prank gone wrong. Somebody doesn’t like this, and begins picking them off one by one.

The cast is somewhat interesting. The two most famous girls among the sisters are famous not for their acting skills but for being the daughter of a famous actor and actress (Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore) and staring on a “reality” show (The Hills‘ Audrina Patridge). Don’t fear, there is a famous name in the cast. Carrie Fisher has a role in the film, and any movie starring her can’t be all bad.

3. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself (Lionsgate, 2,100 + Theaters, 113 Theater, Rated PG-13):Well, apparently the film world isn’t done with Tyler Perry yet. He’s been averaging two films a year, usually all are based on his plays. Will he ever run out?

Now, I have yet to see a Tyler Perry movie and I don’t think Mr. Perry would take time away from counting his money to be bothered by that. But I just don’t see the appeal of his films, from what little I’ve seen of their trailers.

Here is the summary for this film from IMDB:

When Madea catches sixteen-year-old Jennifer and her two younger brothers looting her home, she decides to take matters into her own hands and delivers the young delinquents to the only relative they have: their aunt April. A heavy-drinking nightclub singer who lives off of Raymond, her married boyfriend, April wants nothing to do with the kids. But her attitude begins to change when Sandino, a handsome Mexican immigrant looking for work, moves into April’s basement room. Making amends for his own troubled past, Sandino challenges April to open her heart. And April soon realizes she must make the biggest choice of her life: between her old ways with Raymond and the new possibilities of family, faith … and even true love.

Kind of all over the place, right? Yeah, doesn’t really appeal to me, even before considering that Madea is played by Perry in drag. But he does have an audience and a limitless supply of work to bring to the screen. So I doubt that we will ever see the last of him.

1. Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail (Lionsgate, 2,032 Theaters, 103 Minutes, Rated PG-13):  So, the long progression of films that pay flattery to Tyler Perry’s ego finally reaches its apex. He finally gets around to adapting the play which has his Medea character in the forefront. Yay!

The film aparently focuses on the irrascible Medea, who is Perry in old-age drag, who has finally gone and got herself arrested an thrown in jail. And then, jailarity ensues.

I think the world is just about done with Tyler Perry. He has finally gotten to the level of total overexposure. His last several films has been doing progressively worse and worse at the box office. This one will either be the last nail in the coffin or, and I hope not, a revitalization of the mileu.

2. Fired Up (Sony/Screen Gems, 1,810 Theaters, 94 Minutes, Rated PG-13): There are two types of movies I just don’t trust: Horror films rated PG-13, and teen sex comedies rated PG-13. We have the latter case here.

The premise focuses on two horny teenage boys who decide to attend cheerleading camp on the reason that there would be among hundreds of women. In other words, easy pickins.

With that storyline and a poster that features the letters “F” and “U” so prominantly, you’d expect a ribald movie where anything goes. However, with the film being rated PG-13, there has to be a lot that didn’t go. The result is probably a rather tame, toothless comedy.