Taxi

Reviewed by Rich Drees

     When someone gets around to writing the book When Bad Remakes Happen To Good Films, there shall surely be a chapter devoted to Taxi, a massive misfire of a Hollywood adaptation of a French action film. Whereas the original version, written and produced by Luc Besson, is a low-key but fun action film about a taxi driver with aspirations of driving on the race car circuit who is recruited by a police officer (Saturday Night Live alum Jimmy Fallon) to help catch a gang of thieves who make their escape in high performance cars, this new version is nothing but a 100 minute long car crash.

     The movie opens with a neat little sequence showing a bicycle messenger racing across midtown Manhattan, doing some thrilling stunts in and out of traffic. Arriving at a messaging service offices, the bicyclist in the space of one edit goes from being the slim stunt rider to the much stockier actress Queen Latifah as Belle, soon to be revealed as the driver of the titular vehicle. For the filmmakers to pull such an audaciously obvious switch is not a sign of good things ahead. Indeed, the film plummets downhill, never to recover.

     To her credit, Latifah gamely tries to dig for laughs in the material she’s given, but she’s in a played-out mine. The script is an utter disappoint, devoid of comedy potential or any truly exciting action sequences. That the film lacks any good comedy moments is a surprise as two of the screenwriters credited are Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon of the hysterical 90s sketch comedy group The State. Instead, the film hits familiar comedy cop movie clichés such as Fallon’s character being inept to the point of having his badge taken away from him multiple times and prone to accidentally firing or dropping his gun. The script is also uninterested in developing it’s four beautiful bank robbers beyond the fact that they drive fast getaway cars. Only the leader of the quartet is ever given a name, the rest function as eye candy only.

     The action sequences are directed adequately well. While they don’t bring you to the edge of your seat, they don’t brink you to the edge of boredom either. The automobile stunts certainly look impressive, though in this day of computer trickery it’s difficult to determine if one should credit a stunt driver or a computer jockey for this.

     Ultimately, this is one taxi ride you should avoid.