Howard Stern And Woody Allen In A Film Together!?

The possibility of two wildly different comic masters such as Howard Stern and Woody Allen appearing in a movie together is enough to boggle the mind, yet such a film project almost came to pass.

On his Sirius Satellite Radio show this morning, Howard Stern briefly talked about how a year ago he was offered a starring role in a film opposite Woody Allen. The discussion came about in response to a caller’s question if Stern would ever work with Woody Allen.

"From a creative standpoint, I would love to work with Woody Allen," Stern said. "But from a moral standpoint I got a problem. There's a million women in the world... [but what Allen did] that's just creepy and dark."

Stern is referring to the much publicized break up with Allen and Farrow’s longterm relationship when Allen began seeing one of Farrow’s adopted children, Soon-yi Previn. There is a 34 year age gap between Allen and Previn. At the time of the breakup, Stern was very vocal about his feelings on the matter. As a 'Thank you' for his support, Farrow made a cameo appearance in Stern’s 1997 autobiographical comedy Private Parts.

Stern does admit that his admiration for Allen makes the project still sound tempting to do.

"I got to be honest with you though, now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, I think I would throw almost all of my morality out the window and maybe I would have done this movie. But you know, at the end of the day..."

While he went to say that he wasn’t sure he could give details of the proposed project’s plot, Stern did reveal that it was not something that Allen wrote. He also said that Allen had already agreed to the project.

"I think it would have been brilliant," Stern enthused. "It was a very funny idea. If you heard the premise of the movie, you'd laugh your ass off. If I said it to you right now, you'd say 'I have to see that movie.'"

While Stern has on occasion mentioned that he continues to get offers for movie appearances, today’s revelation was one of the rare times he went into any detail. Given that Allen is reticent to appear in anything he hasn’t written or will be directing himself, makes this never-happened project all the more fascinating.

"I have mad respect for his gifts and talents," Stern stated. "But geez, that’s a f***ed up, dark place he went to. If Woody Allen captured Osama bin Laden, maybe I could forgive him."

I side with Stern when it comes to Woody Allen. I greatly admire his talents – Love And Death is still one of the funniest comedies every made – but have real problems with how he has conducted his personal life.

Still, the cinematic collision of these comedians is in intriguing. While their styles of comedy are different, both their comic sensibilities stem from their own neuroses and are informed by their upbringing in the New York City area. (Allen was reared in Brooklyn while Stern grew up in the Long Island community of Roosevelt.) It must have been one amazing script that was able to interest these two.

If anyone has any further information on this project, please pass it along.

Wacky German Movie Titles

Would you go see a movie called The Incredible Journey In A Crazy Airplane? How about Floppy Coppers Don't Bite?

These are just two examples of bizarre title translations offered up by the folks over at Madmind in an article about some of the truly odd titles German marketers have given to American movies. Click over to see how the above titles became attached to the comedy classic Airplane and to the Dan Aykroyd-Tom Hanks vehicle Dragnet. Wait until you see what they did to Soylent Green and Animal House!

Personally, I’d be interested in seeing an entire article devoted to the translation of Airplane itself. So much of the comedy depends on word play ("Surely you don’t mean it." "I do. And don’t call me Shirley.") that I can’t see a literal translation making any kind of sense to German speaking audiences.

Via CinemaRetro.

F-Bombs Away!

It's the word that, if muttered more than once, will get a film an automatic R rating. And the folks over at Box Office Psychics have compiled a list of approximately the top 50 films that unleash the so-called dreaded "F-Bomb." Not surprisingly, the documentary Fuck, which examines the history of the word and how society has reacted to it over time, tops the list with the word be uttered a whopping 824 times. Meanwhile, the 1997 British comedy Nil By Mouth , with 428 F-bomb drops, takes second place and Martin Scorsese's Casino, with 398, lands in third place. Click on the link to check out the whole list.