This segment originated on my blog, Gates Rants. It will come to you every Thursday but in weeks when I will not be around on Thursday, such as this one, you will get them earlier.

What to expect? A list of movies that will be opening in wide release that week with commentary added at no charge.

1. The Bourne Ultimatum (3,500+ Theaters): When I first heard that Matt Damon was going to play a secret agent, I mocked. He didn’t really fit the secret agent type. But then again, he was playing a role originated on TV by Richard Chamberlain.

Of course, the Bourne Identity film changed all that. Damon was truly impressive, in my opinion, during that movie, especially performing the action sequences.

I guess I wasn’t the only one that was impressed because here we are, with the second sequel to that original movie.

I have yet to see the Bourne Supremacy, but this film seems to carry over a lot of the plot elements from that movie, judging at their respective trailers. His former bosses go after him, he goes after them, etc. I’m sure there’s more than that, but that is what it looks like.

The Bourne Ultimatum – Trailer

Posted Apr 25, 2007

In the new chapter of this espionage series, Bourne will hunt down his past in order to find a future.

2. Underdog (2,800 Theaters): For those of you uninitiated out there, allow me to tell you about a trend I have seen about other medium adaptations such as Underdog.

No matter what idiom movies take from, be it comics (Batman, X-Men), books (Harry Potter, Nancy Drew) or TV shows (Dukes of Hazzard, Underdog), and no matter how great of pains the creators go to to protect the spirit of the project their adapting, most fans of the original will not be happy.

In this internet age, nothing sets off message board posters quite like when movie makers change something about the comic, book or TV show they love so much.

I have to admit that I am equally to blame when it comes to comic book movies. But I am a little more lenient than some people. I understand that movies are different from comics and some changes need to be made.

But there are a lot of Underdog fans out there that are up in arms about this movie, complaining about every thing from the CGI to the changes to the story.

I grew up watching Underdog but I thought the trailer was fun and a riot. Heck, you have Peter Dinklage as Simon Barsinister! How can that not be good?

Underdog – Teaser

Posted Feb 16, 2007

A bumbling watchdog, who seems to be more-or-less a beagle, gets exposed to a substance that gives him the powers of a superhero. He is adopted by a 12-year-old boy and uses his superpower to protect his love and the citizens of Capitol City from the evil Simon Barsinister.

3. Hot Rod (2,500 Theaters): I have to admit, I knid of admire Andy Samberg on a number of fronts.

I admire his daringness with his humor on Saturday Night Live. He might not always be funny (although I will stand behind the fact that “Lazy Sunday” is one of the funniest thing to come from SNL in years), but he is always taking chances.

I also have to admire his meteoric rise. He just joined the cast of SNL, what, two years ago? And now he’s the lead in his own summer movie? That’s impressive.

Hot Rod seems to be a movie in the Will Ferrell/not-so-smart hero comedy genre, with Samberg cast as a younger Ferrell.

Problem with this is that the old Will Ferrell is still around and doing these types of movies. And doing them well, if you are a fan of the genre. So, Samberg would have to bring something new to the table to separate him from the master.

Hot Rod – Trailer #2

Posted Jun 28, 2007

Amateur stuntman Rod Kimble has a problem–his step-father Frank is a jerk. Frank picks on Rod, tosses him around like a rag doll in their weekly sparring sessions, and definitely doesn’t respect him, much less his stunts. But when Frank falls ill, it’s up to Rod to stage the jump of his life in order to save his step-father. The plan: Jump 15 buses, raise the money for Frank’s heart operation, and then–kick his ass.

4. Bratz (1,700+ Theaters): And then there’s this one.
For those of you who don’t know, Bratz is a doll line. Not that I’m and expert, but they are notable for their grossly misshapen heads on tiny little bodies.

Apparently, after conquering the world of Saturday Morning computer generated cartoons, they are head to the live-action big screen.

And the world silently weeps.

I know I am nowhere near the target audience. But the trailer alone is enough to make me possibly vote this movie the worst movie of the entire year.

The plot, if you can call it that, seems to be the tale of four friends from Junior High school who find themselves forced into different cliques. The clique’s designation, name and lunchroom seating charts, along with newbie clique assignment, are all controlled by one blonde evil nasty girl. Our four heroes rebell and make the clique Nazi’s life a living heck.

That is at least what I got from the trailer. The actual movie might be even more unrealistic.

Bratz: The Movie trailer

Posted May 14, 2007

The live-action adventure based on the popular dolls of the same name! Follow Jade, Yasmin, Sasha, and Cloe as they make their way through Carey Nation High proving that fashion rules, and friendship is forever! In theaters August 10th.

So, how do I think the Top 5 will look this week?
1. The Bourne Ultimatum.
2. The Simpsons Movie
3. Hot Rod
4. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
5. Underdog.

I hope, wish and pray that the Bratz movie is nowhere near the top 5.