Madonna Wants To Remake CASABLANCA?

“We’ll always have La Isla Bonita”?

Madonna wants to remake the venerable classic Casablanca, according to a story published in England over the weekend. Allegedly, the pop singer wants to reset the classic’s World War Two setting to “in a modern war zone such as Iraq.”

There’s no need to worry that this will actually ever come to pass, though. Since the story only quoted an anonymous source and appeared Saturday in the British tabloid The Daily Mail, I think we can safely write off the whole thing as a fiction invented by a bored “journalist” looking to file some copy before heading out the door for the weekend.

The idea of Madonna wanting to play the Ingrid Bergman Casablanca role, a part considerably younger than the singer’s own nearly 50 years, is a bit of hubris that I don’t think that even the singer herself could reach. Besides which, we’ve already had two movies in the last several years that could be viewed as remakes of Casablanca– 1996’s Barb Wire, with the highly siliconed Pamela Anderson and 2006’s The Good German with George Clooney. Don’t believe me? Go back and watch them again.

This does, however, give me the opportunity of forwarding my own theory of Madoona as Talent Vampire. While, I can’t say how Dennis Rodman’s NBA record fared when he was involved with the singer, I do know that during the time Sean Penn was married to her, he made some really bad movies. Shanghai Surprise (Co-starring guess who?) and We’re No Angels ring any bells out there? And British director Guy Ritchie turned out the entertaining Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, but then meets and marries Madonna and –WHAMMO! He makes Swept Away. Someone needs to put a stake through this woman’s career.

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About Rich Drees 7195 Articles
A film fan since he first saw that Rebel Blockade Runner fleeing the massive Imperial Star Destroyer at the tender age of 8 and a veteran freelance journalist with twenty-five years experience writing about film and pop culture. He is a member of the Philadelphia Film Critics Circle.
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