New Releases: July 11

1. Hellboy II: The Golden Army: (2,950+ Theaters, 110 Minutes, Rated PG-13): The summer of comic book movies continues, as we get another Hellboy movie.

I happened to like the first Hellboy flick. But then again, I liked what I’ve read of the comic book. Guillermo del Toro obviously is a comic reader and his love for the four-color medium ensured that he would do a faithful adaptation.

I love the marketing for the film. Hellboy doesn’t appear in the trailer until half way in, with all the emphasis put on del Toro and trying to make the film seem as much like Pan’s Labyrinth as possible, yet Universal creates special commercials for all their networks featuring Hellboy interacting with James Lipton, Chuck Bartowski and the guys from Ghost Hunters. Weird.

It almost like the powers that be were ashamed of Hellboy to start with, but eventually came around. Or maybe it has to do with demographics. I just thought that was weird.

2. Journey to the Center of the Earth-3D (2,700 Theaters, 92 Minutes, Rated PG): Do you know what’s depressing? The fact that Brendan Fraser is playing an uncle. It will be even more depressing when Mummy III comes out and he plays a 20-year olds DAD. Fraser is much too young to be playing these kind of roles. If he is old than that means I’m old and that can’t happen!

Well, at least they didn’t have to pay a lot of money for the rights. This is like the eleventy billionth adaptation of the Jules Verne novel, which firmly resides in the public domain.

When you think about it,  this movie is like a time travel experiment. It is a decades old story, done with the latest computer effects, with the 3-D gimmick from the 1950s.

The 3-D effects is what is puzzling. Every few years, movie makers try to bring the effect back but it never goes farther than being a novelty. That’s too bad, because thing of how much better Sex and the City would have been in 3-D.

Or, maybe not.3. Meet Dave (2,950+Theaters, 90 Minutes, Rated PG): Is this how far Eddie Murphy has fallen? At one time, he was daring, and on the edge comedian. Now, he’s doing gimmick comedy.

Apparently, this is a comedy about a group of tiny space aliens who ride in a human sized spaceship to observe human behavior. It is any wonder that Eddie Murphy wants to do Beverly Hills Cop IV?

This concept could get annoying quick. “Look! Eddie bot is confused at how humans greet one another! Look! Eddie bot is confused to discover how humans eat! Look! Another failed attempt of him to fit in!”

Yeah, an hour and a half of that would be way too long.

One thing about the trailer that makes me extra wary is the fact that they do not go into the aliens motivations. Are they here to conquer Earth? There could be comedy there, aliens the size of an action figure trying to conquer Earth. Are they just here to study our planet? Not as funny.

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About Bill Gatevackes 2035 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken, and in Comics Foundry magazine.
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