New Releases: August 7

GIJoePoster1. G I Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (Paramount, 4,007 Theaters, 118 Minutes, Rated PG-13): I’ve said it before, I am a big G.I. Joe fan. I collected the toys as a kids, rushed home to catch the cartoon, even bought the comic books.

So, I view this movie with mixed feelings. Yes, it is a G.I. Joe film. Yes, the Snake Eyes/ Storm Shadow scenes look awesome. And yes, casting Christopher Eccleston as Destro was a stroke of genius.

But the power suits smack of ripping off Iron Man. And the script, which we reviewed here, has some serious issues, issues that the turmoil surrounding reshoots and problems in editing did not help to dissuade.

So, yes, my beloved G.I. Joe is appearing on screen. But that could very well be a bad thing.

JulieJuliaPoster2. Julie & Julia (Sony/Columbia, 2,975 Theaters, 123 Minutes, Rated PG-13): The idea that a woman can go on a journey of self-discovery by working her way through a cookbook might seem like a flight of chick flick fantasy but that was what author Julie Powell did for her book Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen. That tome is one of the books used in this film, the other is Julia Child’s memoir, My Life in France.

Frankly, Child’s life is more than enough to fill a movie all by herself. But I guess Powell’s isn’t so Child has to share hers to make the film.

Judging on the players involved–Nora Ephron, Meryl Streep, and Amy Adams–I cannot believe this film can be any less than entertaining. It should provide a valid alternative to all those people who don’t find black clad American ninjas their style.

PerfectGetawayPoster3. A Perfect Getaway (Universal, 2,159 Theaters, 97 Minutes, Rated R): And then there’s this one.

The plot seems to involve a newlywed couple who are hiking in the wilds of Hawaii and find out there is someone killing couples in very same wilds they are exploring.

Now, if this was happening to me, the movie would be over 20 minutes in. Once I found out that there was a murderer in the general vicinity of where I was, I would hightail it back to civilization, book myself into a hotel, and enjoy Mai Tais by the safety of a securely guarded pool.

However, in these kinds of movies people are never that smart or have that much common sense, so the couple decides stick it out as more people die and they are faced with having their honeymoon turn into a fight for survival. Yawn.

Supposedly, this movie will have a twist ending that will have the 50 people that see it talking afterwards. I bet the killers will be the Hawaiian “Keep Your Stinking Tourists Out Of Our Beautiful Forests” Group and our heroes will be rescued by members of the Hawaiian Tourist Bureau.

Avatar für Bill Gatevackes
About Bill Gatevackes 2037 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken, and in Comics Foundry magazine.
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