New Releases: January 22

1.The Tooth Fairy (FOX, 3,344 Theaters, 101 Minutes, Rated PG): My one problem with this film is that it seems to be based on the conceit that Dwayne Johnson, formerly known as The Rock, deliverer of the “People’s Elbow,” in a tutu and a pair of fancy wing would automatically be funny. That logic didn’t really work for Hulk Hogan in Mr. Nanny,so I doubt that it would work here.

Johnson has had some success with the kiddie fare over at Disney (as a matter of fact, I had to look twice to be sure this film wasn’t from Disney as well), so he might bring a lot to it that will rise it above the limited expectations.

Johnson plays a hockey player who, for some reason, is forced to become a tooth fairy. He decides to bring his own style to the job, hilarity ensues, and he learns something in the process.

2.Extraordinary Measures (CBS Films, 2,549 Theaters, 105 Minutes, Rated PG): There was once a time where the cinematic Harrison Ford never met a problem he couldn’t punch in the face. Now, he older, and he’s playing a character faced with a problem that I’m sure he’d like to punch in the face if he could.

It is strange to see Ford in the wise old doctor role. But, hey, outside of Indy, we really don’t want to see him punching out people anymore.

This story is based on the true story of the Crowley family whose children are afflicted with a terrible disease. Ford plays the doctor who is working towards a cure. He also serves as producer on the film.

The film has been a butt of a few jokes since the trailer was release, most especially focusing on Ford’s snotty response to the idea of working through the night to find a cure, but it does seem to be a cut above the typical disease centered movies.

3. Legion (Sony/Screen Gems, 2,476 Theaters, 100 Minutes, Rated R): Let’s see, based purely on the trailer, this one features machine gun-toting angels, elderly women who turn into wall-crawling demons, and another stop on the downward spiral that Dennis Quaid’s career has become. Seriously, in the past 12 months, he’s been in G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, Pandorum, and this one. And as the films get smaller, so do his parts. Yikes. Not a good trajectory

Although, to be fair, this film does have a pretty good cast joining Quaid. Everyone from Paul Bettany to Charles S. Dutton. Too bad the film looks  just awful.

A small town waitress is unknowingly pregnant with the savior of the human race. However, God is pissed at us and doesn’t think we deserve to be saved. He sends a host of angels down to Earth to kill Jesus 2.0. The only thing standing in their way? The Archangel Michael and a group of feisty, angel-fighting humans. 

So, if the baby was placed in the unwed mothers womb the same way the last savior was, then God in this movie is killing his own kid. That makes even less sense than angels using automatic weapons to kill each other with.

Avatar für William Gatevackes
About William Gatevackes 1986 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken, and in Comics Foundry magazine.
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Rich Drees
January 22, 2010 8:05 am

“A small town waitress is unknowingly pregnant with the savior of the human race. However, God is pissed at us and doesn’t think we deserve to be saved.”

It sounds like God’s reversal on his decision to save us wasn’t clearly thought through….