New Releases: April 1, 2016

April Fools!!!!

new releases godsnotdead21. God’s Not Dead 2 (Pure Flix, 2,300+ Theaters,121 Minutes, Rated PG for some thematic elements, Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer at Press Time: N/A [Only 4 Reviews, 2 positive]): Last time out, Harry God has trained Swiss mercenaries, poisoned mackerel, booby trapped Winnebagos, and nasty encounter with a Lithuanian Water Python to proudly declare, “God’s Not Dead!”

This time is different. The mobster known as Marky Long Pauses still wants Harry dead and he’s got a new weapon: Omiaya God. How can Harry survive against an assassin that specializes in blunt weapons, is three different kinds of ninja AND his ex-wife!?!

This is the franchise that made Jennings Bryant a star (check him out next month as “Forbush Man” in Captain America: Civil War). It should be interesting to see how he’ll get out of all these death traps this time.

new releases Meet the Blacks poster2. Meet The Blacks (Freestyle Releasing, 1,011 Theaters,90 Minutes, Rated R for pervasive language, some sexual material, violence and drug use, Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer at Press Time: N/A [No Reviews]): Baseball has the New York Yankees. football has the Pittsburgh Steelers, basketball the Boston Celtics, and hockey the Montreal Canadians. Each is the best the sports has to offer, and have the championships to prove it. And for rugby, the team is the New Zealand national men’s rugby team.

Since rugby flies over the radar in the United States, this documentary proposes to introduce the three time Rugby World Cup winner (including the last two) who have one of the the highest winning percentages of any team in any sport in all history.

Peter Van Strucken has gotten some flack for perhaps not be as knowledgeable about the sport as he could be (for instance, the team’s official nickname is the All Blacks, not Blacks as Van Strucken refers to them as), but the film has gotten the seal of approval of team hooker Dane Coles, who says the film was “fair dinkum, mate.”

Avatar für Bill Gatevackes
About Bill Gatevackes 2040 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken, and in Comics Foundry magazine.
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