This Week’s Theatrical Releases.

1. The Eye (2,436 Theaters, 97 Minutes, Rated PG-13): In the movie Twins, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito starred as twins: one, a genetically altered perfect man, the other, a lesser genetic offshoot.

A month or so back, Jessica Alba co-starred in Awake, a horror/thriller partially set in a dank and dingy hospital based on the real life phenomenon of being awake while being under anesthesia. This phenomenon plays out as the main character, who is under for heart surgery, discovers that he can hear that the doctors are intending to kill him.

This week, Jessica Alba stars in this movie, a horror/thriller partially set in a dank and dingy hospital based on the real life phenomenon of transplant recipients experiencing similar likes, dislikes, traits and qualities that their donor had. This phenomenon plays out as the main character, who received an eye transplant, realizes that she can see dead people who might be trying to kill her.

So, in essence, this movie is Danny DeVito to Awake’s Arnold. Or at least it seems that way.

It does show some originality in the fact that it is a remake of a Chinese horror film, Jian Gui, which is a break for the numerous remakes of Japanese horror films.

2. Over Her Dead Body (1,977 Theaters, 95 Minutes, Rated PG-13): In Hollywood, they say that the biggest sin is the lack of originality. And much like certain versions of Hell, this sin of unoriginality has levels. It starts off with adapting things from other mediums, Like TV (Miami Vice), comics (Spider-Man), or books (Harry Potter). Then there’s the remake, such as The Departed or All the Kings Men. Then there are the remakes that aren’t remakes, but are darned similar, like Vice Versa, Freaky Friday and Like Father, Like Son.

If there is a level below that one, it would have to be a remake that is not quite a remake of a movie that originally starred Shelley Long, which this one is. This film bears some similarity to the Cheers actresses’ 1987 film, Hello Again.

It is also quite coincidental that both Shelly Long and Eva Longoria both started off in television in casts of an ensemble comedy. Both play the role of a woman who is deceased and comes back to find their husband/fiancée dating another women. Long, however, was a kinder and gentle spectral cuckold than Longoria. The film wasn’t originally titled Ghost Bitch for nothing.

3. Strange Wilderness (1,208 Theaters, 87 Minutes, Rated R): One of the things I find most funny is when a joke goes on too long. What I mean by this, is when a show like Family Guy, has a gag that is funny, lets it run until it is no longer funny, then keeps it going until it becomes funny again.

The TV ad for this movie when they make fun of the shark is like that. It starts as being funny, becomes awkward, and then becomes funny again. Just on the basis of that, this movie might win my movie dollar this week.

The movie appears to be a gathering of the tribes, a veritable Woodstock, of actors from the latest trend in “dumb” movies. You have Steve Zahn (Saving Silverman), Jonah Hill (40 Year Old Virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up), Justin Long (Accepted, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story), Broken Lizard’s Kevin Heffernan (Super Troopers, Beerfest) and Allen Covert (Just about every Adam Sandler movie).

The story revolves around a team for an outdoors program who head off into the woods in search of Bigfoot (and higher ratings). Not very complex, but these movies usually aren’t.

Now to the predictions. This is what I predicted for last week:

  1. Cloverfield
  2. Rambo
  3. Meet The Spartans
  4. 27 Dresses
  5. The Bucket List

And this is how it ended up.

  1. Meet the Spartans
  2. Rambo
  3. 27 Dresses
  4. Cloverfield
  5. Untraceable

Wow. Meet the Spartans was number one. It terrifies me that there are that many stupid, stupid people in the United States today. It chills me.

This week, I went 1 for 5, for a total of 47 for 120 after 24 weeks. My average is now 39%.

This is what I think this week’s top 5 will look like:

  1. Strange Wilderness
  2. The Eye
  3. Rambo
  4. 27 Dresses
  5. Meet the Spartans.

What do you think?

About William Gatevackes 1952 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken Frontier.com, PopMatters.com and in Comics Foundry magazine.
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