This Week’s Theatrical Releases.

1. Mr.Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (3,164 Theaters, Rated G): Yes, considering the amount of promotion the other movie this week is getting , it’s strange to see that this film is in more theaters. I have seen the maybe seen one TV ad for this movie compared to about 50 for Beowulf.

And do you think they are going for a Willy Wonka vibe with this film? Look at the font on the poster. Instead of a magical candy factory it is a magical toy store. But he is searching for the right someone to to take over his business.

The movie is helmed by Zach Helm (pun, I apologize, was intended). You might know him as the writer of Stranger Than Fiction. I liked that movie and appreciated the ingenuity of the script. This time he is taking over the director duties as well. Stranger Than Fiction generated a lot of goodwill with me. Knowing what he did with that movie makes me want to see this movie.

And it’s rated G! When was the last time there was a movie with real actors that was rated G?

2. Beowulf (3,153 Theaters, Rated PG-13): Is it just me, or do you think they made that line of dialogue “I am Beowulf!” sound like “This is Sparta!” on purpose? I mean, the intonation, the accent even the syllables are the same. It’s like the producers are trying to subliminally tell us “Listen, if you liked 300, you’ll love us! We have CGI! We have swordplay! We have scantily clad warriors! We have comic book connections! And we’re PG-13, not R!”

I really want to like this. I am a huge fan of Neil Gaiman and Sandman rightly holds a place as one of the best series in the history of comic books. And I have had a soft spot in my heart for Robert Zemeckis ever since Back to the Future. But I don’t know about this one. It seems like they are trying to much to ride on 300‘s coattails. That is just the typical Hollywood mindset in action, but I expected better from the creators involved. Now, I am basing this just on the trailer. The movie might be quite different. But I still have a bad feeling about it.

And the movie is rated PG-13 even though IMDB say it contains: “intense sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sexual material and nudity.” That would get an R if it were not all CGI. See, cartoon dirtiness IS better than live action dirtiness.

Now the predictions. This is what I predicted for last week.

  1. Fred Claus
  2. American Gangster
  3. Bee Movie
  4. P2
  5. Saw IV

And this is how they really ended up:

  1. Bee Movie
  2. American Gangster
  3. Fred Claus
  4. Lions For Lambs
  5. Dan in Real LIfe

How does this happen? I mean Bee Movie was number two last week, three new movies came out and it STILL ends up number one? Did the people at Dreamworks BUY tickets for people? Or was there just a one week delay on all that marketing? Sigh. This means that I was only 1 for 5 last week, 33 out of 70 after 14 weeks and an average of 47%

This is what I think for this week:

  1. Beowulf
  2. Bee Movie
  3. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
  4. American Gangster
  5. Fred Claus

What do you think?

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About William Gatevackes 1998 Articles
William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken, and in Comics Foundry magazine.
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